Happy Holidays! – even during divorce.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” During a divorce, or even after a divorce, the holidays can be a very difficult time of the year. Since the holidays are upon us, here are a few pointers to keep your kids happy, save your sanity and make the holidays smooth.
1. Follow the schedule. By now, you probably have gone to Court and taken a lot of time to work out a schedule. It’s there for a reason. You spent good time making it. Follow it. Unless changes have traditionally been easy to coordinate, don’t try to switch things up during an already over-scheduled, tense time of year. (link to temporary orders?)
2. Work together. If change is required, a child is sick, a situation arises, work with the other parent to make this as easy for the children. Your children will only benefit from seeing his/her parents working together. Even if you have to grit your teeth, smile, wave, and show your children your holiday spirit.
3. Be kind. If your child asks about her dad, wants to make an extra call his mom or seems to miss the holidays past, take a step back and be the adult. Use kind words when discussing the other parent. Encourage him/her to speak to his mom on the phone one more time before bed. Acknowledge the change from holidays past and allow your child to express his feelings.
4. Remember the kids. Holidays are based on tradition, religion (in some cases) and family. Teaching your kids about your family holiday is half of the fun. Remember that there may be different traditions in the other parent’s home. Respect that. Teach your child your traditions. Let them enjoy every moment of the day and make positive, happy memories.
5. Let it go. If something happens that requires legal action, let it go. Your attorney isn’t going to address anything until the next business day. You shouldn’t either. Letting whatever impacted your holiday get you down or make you mad only stresses the day and potentially ruins the sentiment for your family.
I hope this helps, even just a little, during this holiday season. It’s not easy to get through the holidays sometimes but if you make the best of the situation, you might be surprised at how well things work out! Happy Holidays!